Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
