the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
