I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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