Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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