I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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