i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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