the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So apparently I’m into choking now
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
