We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't turn off my feet"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
