Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
