accomplished twins. life is a go
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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