Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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