I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
PANTIES FOUND
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
