I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
