I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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