Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
