Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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