hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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