I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
