I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Are we in a gay sports bar?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
