i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My first STD was from a foam party
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
