your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
