Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
