For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
