What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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