Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
