I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
