apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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