we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
