new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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