My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Quick, to the slutcave!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
