What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
