oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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