I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
