I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this hospital has no fireball
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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