I think my vagina is haunted
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
