yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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