Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
