Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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