No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
