ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
