life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
