well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
