I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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