But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
