She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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