Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
