i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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