I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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