Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
