Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
