I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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