yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
